What We'll Cover
- The Principles Behind Trauma-Informed Language
- Start with Clear, Usable Instructions
- Make Choices Specific and Genuine
- Remove Pressure to Push Through or Release
- Let People Describe Their Own Experience
- Offer Support Without Declaring Someone Safe
- Consider Different Bodies, Minds and Ways of Processing
- Practise, Listen and Be Willing to Repair
- Keep Developing the Practice Behind the Words
“Just relax.”
Most of us have heard that at some point. You might even bristle when reading it just now. Perhaps we’ve said it ourselves, with every intention of helping. But if you’re already uncomfortable, being told to relax can leave you wondering how, and whether you’re doing something wrong because you can’t.
The same can happen in breathwork. An instruction that feels reassuring to the facilitator may feel confusing, pressuring or simply unhelpful to the person receiving it.
Our words help people understand what we’re offering, what choices they have and what we expect of them. They can also introduce expectations we didn’t intend: that someone should feel calm, have an emotional release or continue despite discomfort.
Trauma-informed language asks us to pay attention to those possibilities. We can be warm, clear and direct while leaving room for people to have their own experience.
Here are some practical ways to do that, whether you’re learning to guide breathwork or reviewing language you’ve used for years.
The Principles Behind Trauma-Informed Language
Before we look at particular phrases, it helps to revisit what we want our language to support. Here is a quick reminder of the basic principles of trauma informed practice:
Choice: people understand their options and can decline, adapt or stop without pressure.
Agency: they can act on those choices. Saying “you can stop” needs to be followed by respecting their decision when they do.
Empowerment: we recognise people’s knowledge of their own experience. We can offer guidance without assuming we know what they need better than they do.
Safety and trust: we explain what to expect, acknowledge limitations and follow through on what we say.
Collaboration: we invite feedback and use it to adjust our approach.
Respect for difference: we leave room for different bodies, identities, backgrounds and ways of understanding or communicating.
These principles give us something useful to check our words against. Ask yourself the following:
Does an instruction help someone understand what’s being offered?
Does it leave room for a different response?
Can they disagree with us or ask for something else?
Start with Clear, Usable Instructions
When we guide breathwork, we’re asking people to do several things at once:
listen to us,
understand an instruction,
try a breathing pattern and
notice how it feels.
They may also be wondering whether they’re doing it correctly or what will happen next.
That can be a lot to process, especially when someone is new to the practice, tired, anxious or working in a language that isn’t their first. People also differ in how they process spoken information, interpret metaphors and notice sensations.
Clear instructions reduce some of that work. They help people understand what we’re offering and make decisions about whether and how to participate.
Explain the practice before asking people to begin. Describe what you’re suggesting, demonstrate where useful and make the alternatives clear. Then give one instruction at a time, with enough space for people to try it before adding more.
For example:
“Notice where your body meets the chair.”
Pause.
“If it’s comfortable, let the chair take a little more of your weight.”
Someone can understand that suggestion without needing to interpret what “come home to yourself” means.
You may still use imagery or poetic language, but give people a concrete starting point and room for the image to mean nothing to them.
Words such as “just”, “simply” and “obviously” deserve attention too. “Simply slow your breathing” can make a difficult instruction sound effortless. A participant who struggles may conclude that the problem is them. Removing “simply” helps; explaining how they might adjust the practice helps more.
You can check whether your guidance is clear by asking people to describe what they understood. In practice sessions, this often reveals a gap between what we meant and what we actually said.
Predictable, understandable guidance can support trust. People have a better idea of what is being asked of them, and more room to decide what works for them.
Let People Describe Their Own Experience
As facilitators, we notice things. Someone becomes tearful, changes position, grows quiet or stops following the breathing pattern. Those observations can help us decide whether to check in, but they give us only part of the picture.
Tears can accompany many different feelings.
Silence might mean someone is comfortable, concentrating, unsure or unwilling to speak. We cannot reliably know what an experience means by watching it from the outside.
Our own experiences and training can make particular explanations feel convincing. If we’ve been taught to associate crying with release, we may reach for that interpretation automatically. But saying “Your body is releasing trauma” gives someone an explanation we cannot establish, and they may accept it because they trust our expertise.
That influence is important to acknowledge. People can feel pressure to agree with a facilitator, even when the explanation doesn’t fit. They may also begin searching for an experience they think they’re supposed to have.
We can stay curious and give them room to describe things in their own words:
“How was that for you?”
“Would you like to tell me anything about what you noticed?”
“Is there anything you need now?”
Ask without requiring an answer. Someone may need time, prefer privacy or have nothing particular to report. We don’t need to fill that space with an interpretation.
The same care applies to reassurance. If someone reports an uncomfortable sensation, “That’s completely normal” may close down a conversation we need to have. Listen, clarify what they’re describing and respond within your training, including stopping the practice or seeking appropriate help when needed.
Respecting someone’s account also means allowing it to differ from what we hoped for. They may feel settled, unsettled, disappointed or unchanged. We can take their experience seriously without trying to turn it into a positive outcome.
Our role is to offer guidance and appropriate support while leaving people room to understand their own experience.
Make Choices Specific and Genuine
People arrive at breathwork with different relationships to following instructions and expressing their needs. Some are comfortable saying that something doesn’t suit them. Others may worry about disrupting the group, disappointing the facilitator or appearing difficult.
That means an invitation can still feel like an expectation, particularly when everyone else appears to be following it.
We can help by explaining the available choices before the practice begins. People need to know how they can participate differently, pause or stop, and what will happen if they do.
For example:
“You can close your eyes, keep them open or let your gaze rest somewhere in the room.”
“You can try this breathing pattern, make it smaller or continue with your usual breathing.”
“You’re welcome to observe this exercise.”
Specific options are often easier to use than “Do whatever feels right.” Someone new to breathwork may have little idea what alternatives are available or feel unsure about departing from your instructions.
Give people time to decide, too. Offering several options and immediately moving on can leave someone trying to catch up rather than considering what they need.
Then pay attention to how you respond. If someone pauses, do you accept it or encourage them to resume? If they choose to observe, can they do so without being singled out? Praise for “going further” can also suggest that choosing less is a lesser achievement.
You don’t need to repeat every option throughout the session. Establish them clearly, offer reminders when useful and follow through consistently. Over time, that consistency helps people trust that their choices will be respected.
Remove Pressure to Push Through or Release
The way we describe breathwork can create expectations before someone takes their first intentional breath.
If we talk about breakthroughs, releasing stored pain or reaching a deeper experience, people may begin looking for signs that they’re getting somewhere. They might judge a quiet session as unsuccessful or continue through discomfort because they believe something valuable is about to happen.
As facilitators, we need to examine what our language encourages.
Instructions such as “Go deeper”, “Stay with it” or “Let it all out” may direct someone towards greater intensity without checking whether that is appropriate or wanted. They can also make it harder to stop: the participant may feel they are abandoning the process just before it works.
Breathwork should not become a way of digging into painful experiences or drawing out emotion someone hasn’t chosen to explore. If feelings arise, we can respond with care while supporting the person’s ability to decide what happens next.
Try language that makes the available choices clear:
“You don’t need to make anything happen.”
“You can reduce the intensity, return to your usual breathing or stop.”
“Would you like support, or would you prefer some space?”
Words such as “release”, “allow” and “soften” also deserve consideration. They may sound gentle while still asking someone to produce a particular response. “Allow the emotion to move through you” could feel like pressure to remain with an experience they want to step away from.
Consider the expectation behind the phrase. Are you supporting someone’s choice, or steering them towards what you believe should happen?
You can make room for emotion without encouraging escalation. You can also welcome an uneventful session without searching for hidden meaning. People don’t need to demonstrate progress through visible intensity.
Offer Support Without Declaring Someone Safe
When someone seems uncomfortable, it’s understandable to want to reassure them quickly. But reassurance is most useful when it reflects something we can genuinely offer.
“You are completely safe” makes a promise we cannot guarantee. Someone may feel unsafe despite our intentions, and being told otherwise can make it harder for them to explain what’s happening.
We can be more specific about the conditions we provide: the practice can stop, participation is optional, touch requires consent and support is available within clear boundaries.
For example:
“You can stop. You don’t need to explain why.”
“Would you like me to stay nearby or give you more space?”
“Would it help to change position or take a break?”
A check-in should help us understand what the person wants. Keep questions manageable and allow time for an answer. Someone who is struggling may find several questions or a long explanation difficult to process.
Grounding suggestions need the same flexibility. Not everyone finds attention to their breath or internal sensations helpful. You might offer noticing the room, feeling the support of a chair or another option within your training.
Ask whether the suggestion helps. If it doesn’t, listen and reconsider rather than giving the same instruction more insistently. A person’s response gives you information about what they need now.
Be clear around touch as well. Explain what you’re proposing and ask for specific consent before proceeding. Silence, stillness or previous consent should not be taken as permission.
Our words should match our actions. Calm reassurance has limited value if someone’s request to stop, move away or decline support is then ignored.
Consider Different Bodies, Minds and Ways of Processing
A breathwork instruction often contains assumptions we barely notice.
We may expect people to feel a particular sensation, visualise an image, sit in a certain position or talk about their experience afterwards. Those expectations can make participation unnecessarily difficult for someone whose body, processing or preferences differ from ours.
Some people don’t form mental images. Some find internal sensations difficult to identify or describe. Others need more time to process spoken information, an alternative to lying down or less sensory stimulation.
These differences don’t tell us how engaged someone is or how much they benefit from a practice.
Explain what an instruction is intended to support and offer relevant alternatives. For example:
“If you notice movement as you breathe, you might bring your attention there. You can also keep your attention on the room.”
“You don’t need to picture anything; you can work with a word, an idea or what you notice around you.”
“You can share, write something down or keep your reflection private.”
Consider the imagery you use too. Family, home, touch, nature and spirituality carry different associations for different people. Asking someone to imagine a loving parent or a safe childhood place may introduce something painful or inaccessible.
You can offer options without requiring people to disclose why they need them. Someone should be able to choose a chair or keep their eyes open without explaining their medical history, neurodivergence or personal experiences to the group.
There is no wording that will suit everyone. Explain your approach, invite preferences and respond to feedback. Inclusion depends on being willing to adjust when your usual guidance doesn’t fit.
Practise, Listen and Be Willing to Repair
Many of our facilitation habits come from phrases we’ve heard repeatedly. They can feel natural enough that we stop noticing what they communicate.
Reviewing your language gives you a chance to hear it from another perspective. You might discover that you offer choices clearly at the start but become more directive as the session progresses. Or that you tend to fill silence with explanations when people need time.
Practise with colleagues and ask for specific feedback:
What did you understand from the instruction?
Where did you need more explanation or time?
Did the alternatives feel equally welcome?
Was there anything that suggested you should feel or do something particular?
Choose one habit to explore rather than trying to monitor every word. You could work on shorter instructions, clearer alternatives or leaving more space after a question.
You will still say things you want to reconsider. A brief correction can help:
“Let me explain that more clearly.”
“I suggested closing your eyes. Keeping them open is also welcome.”
“I described how this might feel, but your experience may be different.”
If someone tells you your language caused discomfort, give their feedback room before explaining what you intended. You can acknowledge the impact, apologise where appropriate and ask what would help now. They don’t have to reassure you or discuss it further.
Some situations need reflection afterwards, support from a supervisor or changes to how you work. Repair includes following through on what you’ve learned.
The aim is to develop language you can stand behind, and remain willing to change when someone helps you understand its effect.
Developing the Practice Behind the Words
Our language communicates what we believe about the people we support and our role in their experience.
If we expect everyone to reach a particular outcome, that expectation can appear in our instructions, praise and questions afterwards. If we trust people to make choices, we need to provide enough information, time and support for them to do so.
Learning a few alternative phrases is a useful beginning. Developing the judgement behind them takes practice, feedback and ongoing reflection. We need to keep asking whether our words are clear, whether our assumptions are justified and whether our actions respect the choices we offer.
Looking For a Trauma-Informed Breathwork Training?
If you haven’t trained yet, look for a course that puts trauma-informed principles into practice from the beginning. Our 50-hour Breathwork Coach Training offers a trauma-sensitive foundation in breath regulation and coaching, while our 400-hour Breathwork Facilitator Training provides more extensive trauma-informed preparation, including Conscious Connected Breathwork. Both are designed around respect for choice, clear boundaries and accessible learning.
Already Qualified?
If you’re already qualified and want to explore these subjects more deeply, take a look at The Trauma-Informed Wellness Professional and our other CPD trainings. Bring your experience and your questions, we’d love to support you in developing the understanding behind your words and the way you put it into practice.
